We're facebook friends in real life
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
