Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Randomize
