My friends, they love my intelligence
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
