dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
