If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Hello my rib-scented angel!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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