The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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