it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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