Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
