She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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