If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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