just come out here and I will go home with you...
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
