so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
