Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
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I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
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I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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