My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
