If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
