Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize