Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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