My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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