I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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