Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
