I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
