Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
