what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
