I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize