those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
