I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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