sorry about calling you the devil all night.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
