And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
It was confusing and full of hummus
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
