I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
