He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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