what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
