State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
