no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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