dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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