why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
