Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
