I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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