Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
organizing the empties. That sober.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
