that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
