i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My dad is sitting where you rode me
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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