So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
