me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
