; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
