dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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