piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
