Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I did not marry a roomba.
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