My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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