What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
