I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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