the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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