Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
