It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
