i already hear my dad disowning me
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
