literally had 100 drinks last night.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
