idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
this beer tastes like vomit already
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize