You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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