i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
