I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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