he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
