i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
