what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
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