the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
